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Discussion: When a Love Triangle is not really a Love Triangle

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Yes. Today I’m going to talk about love triangles. Dun dun DUUUUUN! 

But I’m not going to talk about whether or not love triangles are good or bad (it really depends), or whether or not they’re overused as plot devices (they are). Instead, I’m going to talk a bit about how people are starting to call any story with a romantic [sub]plot and 3 or more featured characters a love triangle, and how I think this is madness.

So, first off, what is a love triangle? I realize there’s a lot of definitions out there, and mine is not necessarily “right.” But since this is my blog, I get to define it today.

[DISCLAIMER: For the purposes of this post, I’m going to use the one-girl-two-guys formula for love triangles, because I don’t feel like saying “him or her” constantly throughout the post. But obviously, these gender roles can be reversed.]

[DISCLAIMER #2: I give some examples below. This is by no means meant to be an exhaustive list. Just some illustrations.]

“Real” Love Triangle:

In my opinion, a love triangle is a story in which a large portion of the plot centers around reciprocated romantic feelings between a girl and two potential suitors. In a real love triangle, the girl must be romantically attracted to both guys, and must seriously consider each of them as a viable romantic candidate. They must also be romantically interested in her. She can favor one over the other, but she must at least give thoughtful consideration to both. The deliberation must also last for a prolonged period of time, not just for a couple chapters.

Illustrations of “real” love triangles:


Twilight: New Moon*, Glitch, The Selection, Clarity

NOT a Love Triangle

So what isn’t a love triangle? Oh, so many things. Basically, any story which does not fall into the above classification. But I will break it down.

Example #1

Girl is in a relationship that starts either before or very near the beginning of the book, then realizes she doesn’t actually want to be with that guy. She then moves on to someone else.

They may both be interested in her simultaneously, but she doesn’t spend a lot of time agonizing over which one to choose. There may be a slight amount of overlap, but she mostly moves from one to the other. In this example, the defining characteristic is the fact that she is not interested in/does not seriously consider both guys simultaneously, or at least not for more than a couple chapters.

This is not a triangle. This is a linear progression, and with or without the overlap, it’s how most relationships go. One doesn’t work out. You break up. You move on to someone else.

I think the confusion comes when in books, the moving on happens immediately after the first relationship ends (or even right before it ends), because it would be boring in a book for there to be months of singleness in between relationships. But you have to realize that in the mind of the protagonist, she wasn’t ever simultaneously falling for two guys. She was just moving on.

Illustrations:

Before I Fall, Pushing the Limits

Example #2

Two guys are interested in the same girl, but she only ever really considers one of them as a viable option. Again, the other may be given brief consideration, but her feelings toward him are probably not very romantic.

Raise your hand if you have ever been in a relationship, then found out one of your other friends (who you were not interested in) has a crush on you. Did you consider yourself to be in a “love triangle?” Or did you consider your relationship separate from the crush, since you never really considered the friend romantically?

Illustrations:

Catching Fire**, Everneath, The Princess Bride, Hourglass

Example #3

Two characters are attracted to each other/in a relationship. There is also a third character present, who shows no romantic feelings toward either of them, and neither of them show romantic feelings toward this character. Yet some readers of the book somehow decide that the third character should be involved romantically, despite the complete lack of romantic context in the book itself.

Again, let me put this in the context of real life. For the purposes of this example, let’s assume you’re a girl (since most of you probably are). And you’re dating a guy. And you also have a friend who’s a guy, but you’ve never been interested in him and he’s never been interested in you. In fact, he’s dating someone else, which you’re totally happy about.

And then some random person who doesn’t know you comes up to you and says, “Hey, I know you’re both dating other people, but I think you would be SO GOOD together, and I think you should give it a try!”

What is your thought process? “Oh heavens! I appear to be in a love triangle!” or “You have no idea what you’re talking about, crazy person.”

Illustration:

…do I actually need to give one? I think we all know what I’m talking about.

How to Spot a Love Triangle:

1. Are there 3 or more main/prominently featured characters who are capable of being attracted to one another?

2. Are two of them romantically interested in the same person?

3. Is that person honestly romantically interested in both of the others?

4. Does this interest prompt a need for that person to make a choice between the other two?

5. Is the choice difficult?

6. Is the decision-making process lengthy, and does it provide a significant conflict for the person making the choice?

If the answer to ALL SIX questions is yes, congratulations! You’ve found a love triangle!

What does it all MEAN?!?!

I think us readers need to take a chill pill when it comes to the whole love triangle thing. Yes, lots of books have love triangles, possibly too many books. Yes, sometimes they’re used as pointless plot devices, and the story could be just as strong, if not stronger, without them (although with real love triangles, many times they actually are central to the plot, because the love triangle is the conflict. Or one of them.)

But a lot of books don’t have love triangles. They have characters who interact with each other, and they have conflict, but the point of the book and the dilemma of the characters is not supposed to be “Who is she going to choooooose?” That’s not what the author intended, and it’s kind of a lousy thing to take away from a story where the focus was supposed to be something else.

I think everyone needs to put down the “Team Whatever” button makers, take a deep breath, and back away slowly.

So what do you think? Do you agree that a true love triangle only exists when the main character is significantly torn between two romantic interests? Do you think that any sort of romantic interest with 3 characters, reciprocated or not, constitutes a love triangle? Do you think that a romance that exists entirely in the heads of the fans, completely outside the context of the book, should still be considered a love triangle? Let me know!

P.S. This is my first pure discussion post. Thinking of doing more of them in the future.

* Yes, Edward definitely has the edge, but Bella spends a good period of time trying to make something work with Jacob, and it is one of the central conflicts of the story.

**I realize that a LOT of people think there is a genuine love triangle in the Hunger Games series, but I maintain that Katniss never really considers one of the contenders romantically. She tries to convince herself to think of him that way, because she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, but that’s about it. If anything, the “triangle” in that book is between Katniss, the guy she eventually ends up with, and being alone.

P.P.S. So far everyone in the comments is behaving themselves admirably, but I just want to ask that no one spoil the end of any of these, or any other, books for anyone. Believe it or not, there are still people out there who haven’t read Hunger Games. Or Harry Potter. *faints*

Feature & Follow (August 17) – Inspiring Blogger

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Welcome to the Feature & Follow Hop, hosted by Parajunkee’s View and Alison Can Read!

If you’re here for the first time, I’d love if you could follow via email, RSS, LinkyFollowers or Networked Blogs. Just let me know your follow method of choice in the comments, and I’ll be happy to return the favor.

And if you’re not new, welcome back! Repeat visitors are better than when you wake up and think it’s time to get up, but then look at the clock and realize it’s still the middle of the night.

This week’s question:

What blogger inspires you?

Since it doesn’t have to be a book blog (although don’t get me wrong – I love SO MANY book bloggers), I’m going to pick Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman. I’ve read her blog for years, used her Photoshop Actions, cooked tons of her food, and own the cookbook. Oh yeah, and I won an iPad from her.  Seriously.

But the reason I admire her as a blogger is more than just because she holds the best giveaways ever. The giveaways are just icing on the cake of awesome that is Pioneer Woman. Allow me to list the awesome:

1) She’s hilarious and real. Her personality shines through in every one of her posts, be it about food, her kids, cattle ranching, or traveling the country on a book tour.

2) She posts entertaining content every single day.

3) She does this while homeschooling four children. I can’t even begin to imagine the amazing time management skills (which she says she is lacking, but compared to me, I believe this is a fallacy).

4) She’s written two cookbooks, a children’s book, and a book about the love story between her and her husband (which I read back when it was just content on her site, and it is hilarious). Again, I don’t know how she finds the time to write books, but she does.

5) She appears to be an honestly genuine and fun person, the kind I would want to be friends with if I met her in real life. (Which is something I’m still hoping happens someday).

6) She genuinely appreciates her readers, and although she is massively successful, she doesn’t let it go to her head. In all my years of reading her blog, I’ve never heard her say anything that comes across as bragging or entitled or superior. Which is probably one of the reasons she’s so popular.

 I could probably keep going, but surely that’s enough for this post. Who inspires you?

Throwback Thursday (8/16) – Never Let Me Go

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Welcome to Throwback Thursday, a weekly meme hosted by The Housework Can Wait and Never Too Fond of Books!

It’s the nature of book blogging to focus mainly on new releases, but there are thousands of great books out there that haven’t seen the “New Releases” shelf in years. We hope to be able to bring attention to some older titles that may not be at the top of the current bestseller list, but still deserve a spot in your To-Be-Read pile.

You don’t have to be a book blogger to participate! You can put up a Throwback Thursday post on your non-bookish blog; or if you don’t have a blog at all, just use the comments to tell us about a book you remember fondly.

Here’s how it works:
1. Pick any book released more than 5 years ago. Adult, YA, Children’s; doesn’t matter. Any great book will do.
2. Write up a short summary of the book (include the title, author, and cover art) and an explanation of why you love it. Make sure to link back to The Housework Can Wait and Never Too Fond of Books in your post.
3. Link up your post at The Housework Can Wait or Never Too Fond of Books.
4. Visit as many blogs as you can, reminisce about books you loved, and discover some “new” books for your TBR list!

Feel free to grab the Throwback Thursday button code from the sidebar to use in your posts.

Thanks for participating, and we look forward to seeing which books you choose to remember!

My Throwback this week is…

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

Let me just start by saying this book is not for everyone. It’s tremendously sad. Sad to the point that another blogger I was discussing it with recently (well, the movie version, but still the same story) said she finished with a broken heart wondering, “what’s the point?” And I could totally see how you could come away from this book with that feeling. That said, I think if you go into the book with the right expectations, and you yourself have the “right” personality (for this book, not for…you know…life), it’s strangely beautiful. It’s one of those stories you can’t stop thinking about for a long time afterward.

I first read this book for a bit of a roundabout reason. I had seen the movie The Social Network, and I was totally captivated with Andrew Garfield’s performance. “What else has this kid been in?” I asked myself, and looked him up on IMDb. Lo and behold, he’d been in some artsy movie called Never Let Me Go that was based on a book. “I shall read this book, and then see the movie!” I proclaimed.

Because, as we all know, you always read the book first.

So I did. And then I saw the movie. And they are both haunting and sad and…well…strangely beautiful. (As a side note, while I think the movie is fabulously acted, I don’t think it really holds its own narrative-wise. So I would definitely recommend reading the book before seeing the movie).

Never Let Me Go is the quietest sci-fi dystopian you’ll ever read. So quiet, in fact, you may not notice that you’re reading sci-fi dystopian, because it disguises itself quite effectively as serious contemporary(ish) British literature. It is the story of three friends, Kathy, Tommy, and Ruth, who grow up together in the boarding school of Hailsham. Kathy carries a torch for Tommy from the time they are very young, but it is Tommy and Ruth that pair off through their teen years.

However, after leaving Hailsham and drifting apart, Kathy looks back on her time with Tommy and Ruth and wonders. For students of Hailsham are created for a specific purpose, and once they fulfill that purpose, their lives are complete. As the time for the three friends’ completion grows near, they reunite and examine whether there has been meaning in what they went through, or if they have any reason to hope for the future.

As I said earlier, this book is not for everyone. It’s a dystopian where it never occurs to any of the characters to try to overthrow the system. You want them to fight back, and they don’t, and you get your heart stomped on. Brutally. (I’m doing a great job of selling this book, aren’t I?)

But if you like quiet, difficult, poignant stories with strongly developed characters, this may be one to try. If nothing else, it’ll stick with you for a long time after you finish. And that in itself, even if you hate it, is saying something.

Also, if you like the book and want to see it interpreted visually, I think the movie works well as a companion to it. Here’s the trailer.

Also, I posted this in my most recent Top Ten Tuesday, but I absolutely adore this fan-made video. Perfectly captures the gutting emotion from the movie.

This is a blog hop! Link up your Throwback Thursday post below!


Top Ten Tuesday (August 14): Book Romances in the Real World

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Welcome to another Top Ten Tuesday, hosted by our friends over at The Broke and the Bookish!

This weekend, one of the contributors over at TBatB, Jamie, is getting married! Congratulations Jamie!

In honor of Jamie’s big day, the topic this week is:

Top Ten Book Romances That You Think Would Make It In The Real World (outside the book)

This one’s fun, because so often in books (especially YA), the characters fall in “love” based on at least one (but most likely all) of the following factors:

1. They are both pretty.

2. They were forced to spend a prolonged period of time alone together.

3. They had an ADVENTURE.

And as we’ve all learned from watching Speed 2: Cruise Control, Annie was right. Those sorts of relationships don’t work.

Wait…we did all watch Speed 2: Cruise Control, right? That’s something we’ve all seen? Yes?

No? Well, that’s probably for the best.

So anyway, our task this week is to come up with 10 books that break free of the curse of insta-love and shallow love and love by proximity. The ones where the relationships would probably have a shot in the real world, where there are such things as morning breath and bad hair days and money problems and laundry and mowing the lawn. It’s tough, but I’m going to try my best.

Um, there may be some spoilers in here, since it’s kind of rare when the characters get together right at the beginning of the book, and yet I would still think they would have a chance in real life. Most of the time when that happens, it’s insta-love, and I’m pretty sure they break up next Tuesday. Sorry.

And it kind of kills me that I can’t put Buttercup and Westley on this list, but seriously, they fall in love based solely on her being pretty as she orders him snootily around her family’s farm, then he leaves, then she’s kidnapped. Twice. Hardly the foundation for a lasting relationship. So while I really want to believe that their true love is the greatest thing in the world (except for a nice MLT), I need to be realistic here.

As an aside, it’s possible I may have gotten carried away with the YouTube compilations. But I don’t care.

10. Kaleb and Lily, Timepiece. Maybe they wouldn’t have gotten married, but their relationship just felt natural to me.

[I’m sorry. The book’s too new. There’s no fan art or YouTube compilations to be had. Just pretend you see a picture of Kaleb dressed as a pirate and Lily dressed as a tiger, ‘kay?]

9. Kathy and Tommy, Never Let Me Go. These two need a shot in the real world. I mean, seriously. I spent the entire book wanting to pluck them out of their terrible, terrible circumstances and set them free in reality. If you haven’t read this book, it is immensely sad, and made all the worse by the characters’ calm acceptance of their fates. Run away, Kathy and Tommy! Run away!

[Warning: This video MAY completely destroy you. At least, that’s what it did to me.]

8. Clare and Henry, The Time Traveler’s Wife. Theirs is a bit of a chicken and the egg romance. What came first, the time travel or their love for each other? They each kind of lead to the other. However, especially in the book, it’s evident that they actually are compatible and they do go through some legitimate real married-couple problems together, so I think even without Henry’s odd condition, they’d still be able to make it work.

7. Jo and Friedrich, Little Women. Disclaimer: I wanted Jo and Laurie together so bad. It pained me when she turned him down. Like, physically, in my gut. But seriously, this relationship is more realistic. She doesn’t get together with her childhood friend, and instead grows up, finds a job, and meets a guy she actually connects with on an intellectual level. So even though I will always throw things when Jo refuses Laurie, I think this couple would make it.

6. Allie and Noah, The Notebook. While highly romanticized, the world of the book actually is the real world, and they do get married and grow old together. And it’s not like romanticized stories never happen in real life.

[Side note: The husband really enjoys this song. And who am I kidding, so do I. Judge if you must.]

5. Jane and Mr. Rochester, Jane Eyre. I think what I love most about this story is Jane never strays from who she is to be with Rochester.

4. Elinor and Edward, Sense and Sensibility. Even in the world of Jane Austen, where everyone has their perfect match, I thought these two stood out.

3. Anne and Gilbert, Anne of Green Gables. I love the way their relationship grows from childhood rivals to cautious friendship to sweet romance.

2. Ron and Hermione, Harry Potter series. Their relationship is built on the foundation of a 7-year friendship. That’s pretty solid footing.

[I may or may not have watched this three times when I discovered it. And cried. Every. Time.]

[EDIT: I just found a better one, which is what is now shown here. The original Ron and Hermione video I used is here]

1. Claire and Jamie Fraser, Outlander. Best love story I’ve ever read. There ya go.

For your amusement.

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So, I’m behind on reviews. And I don’t have time to crank one out today. I apologize. I’m hoping to use the weekend to get caught up on life in general.

As an apology, here are some fun things that I’ve found recently (or not so recently) on YouTube that amuse me. My great love for finding awesome videos on YouTube could possibly also explain why I am behind in…other things. But let’s ignore that.

Happy Friday everyone!

MUSICAL AWESOMENESS:

There are a million and one covers of this song floating around. But this one is the best.

Yes, this is the same guy from Pentatonix. Craziness.

GEEKY MUSICAL AWESOMENESS:

Um, cellos + Star Wars = YES.

There’s some potty-mouthing in this song, so be warned before you listen in front of impressionable children. But seriously, Magic the Gathering? High-prescription glasses? These were my teenage years.

I had a REALLY hard time picking which Lindsey Stirling video to share, but this is the one I keep coming back to. Love. This. Music. (And the game. Especially Link to the Past.)

GEEKY HILARITY:

I cried the first time I watched this. Seriously. Couldn’t breathe.

THIS REALLY HAPPENS PEOPLE.

Obviously, there are many other amazingly entertaining videos out there that I would love to share with you. But I will save them for another day when I am behind and want to post something anyway.

DISCLAIMER: I did not re-watch all of these videos while making this post. I watched them afterwards.